"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
