I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
BRING THE BAGELS
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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