i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Randomize
