no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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