It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
