he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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