I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize