So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
