That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
