guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
