Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
