Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
