Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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