the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
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And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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