Where did you get a picture of my penis
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
