so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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