remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize