bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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