Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
