I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
