you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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