Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
If I die, sorry about rent.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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