Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Are my feet made of real feet?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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