I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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