dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
