I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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