i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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