I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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