yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
