god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
