You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
How's work?
Spinning.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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