i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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