What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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