Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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