Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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