Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
