My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
