Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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