smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
