I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize