i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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