Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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