Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You pole danced in your parka.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
