woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
