operation harelip BJ is a go
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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