8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
