Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
