I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
