I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I am one with the molecules
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
