Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
