Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
