drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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