Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Pappa wants mamma naked
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
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