This house was built for laser tag.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
