I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
