new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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