I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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