Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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