Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
