life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
