I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
