Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
