You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
